Our America’s Lisa Ling brushes gently across the surface of one of today’s most controversial topics…can you pray the gay away? If you listen carefully, you will hear that not only can you NOT pray it away, but according to Alan Chambers…you don’t need to worry about it.
The show started off by sneaking us into Alan Chamber’s Exodus International Freedom Conference. A little back story…Alan spent much of his life praying to be anything BUT gay. After many years, he finds himself married with 2 kids and living life through his “filter of faith”, not his sexuality. By denying the power homosexuality has over him, he can live “God’s best plan”. He feels that even if your feelings don’t change, you can still serve God. OWN’s Lisa Ling introduces us to Ethan, a third time attendee who felt God didn’t make him gay and he has the ability to change. Some of the 1,100 attendees arrived in secret…not even their family knowing the struggle they are enduring. He can’t say his sexual orientation hasn’t changed over all these years, yet his wife trusts him completely. I am not sure if she believes this or merely wants to believe in him. It is hard to believe there isn’t a little doubt. I guess his whole career is on the line…maybe that helps. After years of trying to pray away the gay, Alan merely crafted a safe environment for him to live the way he chooses. By the end of the broadcast, Alan said he believed those who are gay and actively living that lifestyle, would still be in heaven right next to him.
THEN there was former Exodus founding member, Michael Bussee, who left the organization after seeing the destruction the organization was creating. Suicides, depression, self mutilation are only part of the pain the parishioners were experiencing. This was all too much for Michael and none of it was working. While he was surrounded by people going through dark times, he was able to find something he hadn’t expected. He fell in love. Three years after starting Exodus, Michael left the program. He believed that love is a gift from God and that God created him gay. He put it so simply…..God is a God of incredible diversity. “He didn’t stop at one type of butterfly or bird”. Who are we to question God’s plan? He doesn’t make mistakes and there is no reason to change what he has created.
The show refocused onto Janet Boynes, a lesbian of 14 years, who now runs an ex-gay ministry. Struggling to find her feminine side, she claims she is no longer attracted to woman and or that lifestyle. A member of her church is then highlighted, Christian, whom she counsels. After years of counseling, Christian still struggling with attraction and the desire for the attention from men. When he arrived at Janet’s church, he was out of control and on drugs. He shows Lisa Ling his former hangouts as he tells her how his former life was “super fun” only to follow up by noting how the struggle is like “bleeding out of my eyeballs”. I can’t help but wonder if he found Janet during a dark time in his life when he was out of control. He found someone to make him feel worthy and accepted.
Taught that God doesn’t make him gay, Christian believed he was gay because he had been molested as a young child. He spent his life hating himself and being afraid he would become like his abuser. My dressing in drag, he was able to become someone else. Lisa felt it was hard to watch someone that felt the way he did, but also noted be seemed happy in his path. I think it is easy to find happiness with God in your life…but self acceptance is important and he doesn’t have that.
Our America’s Lisa Ling briefly introduced us to a gay Christian camp, the Naming Projects. Reverend Jay Wiesner struggled for years and tried to pray away the gay for himself. He realized he wasn’t God and was not going to be able to change being gay…no matter how hard he prayed. At that time he reconciled that he could be both gay and Christian. Two campers were highlighted….Julian and Chelsea. Julian had been let go from his childhood christian camp for being flamboyant. He had been raised in church and tired to look as straight as possible. Julian noted that lying was simply another sin. So he choose to be his true self. Then there was Chelsea…a truly remarkable and courageous young girl. A popular cheerleader who shows up at the prom with her girlfriend. Not everyone reacted perfectly. Chelsea did her best to raise awareness in her school and even ended up being the first gay prom queen. With all the family and community support, she still struggles with her father not addressing the issue. Just wanting what most kids do…for our loved ones to accept us and be proud. The footage of the naming Project camp ended with campers…young adults and God’s children…looking at themselves in the mirror being told they are the child of God. Just the way they are!
This episode was an important one. With many gay issues all over headlines (from don’t ask-don’t tell, violence against gays and even gay marriages), this topic hits at the core of it all. Does God love and value gays? If I left out the word gay and asked if God loves and values us…almost everyone who believes in God would say yes, without hesitation. He loves us ALL. God never intended for us to judge each other. That isn’t our job. As long as you are right with God…don’t worry about his relationship with your neighbor.