Love, love, love the behind the scenes of The Rosie Show. Introducing us via clips to the soft-spoken Rikk, I can’t help but feel it….I am drawn in by the meditative mumbles. Unfortunately dubbed (at a young age) as the loudest family member, his soothing tones would pull me in and hold me close OR have be looking around constantly trying to figure out what the hell he was saying. It could go either way with me!

Rosie aired a special interview with Darrell Hammond. I think it was from when they were testing out the show. After watching….I completely understand why they couldn’t keep this locked away. So often those who laugh the loudest are the ones that are best are pretending. Darrell broke the laughter and gave us all a raw and an intense look at his childhood. One of his first memories was his mother stabbing him at the age of 4 or 5 years old. With a father who drank a lot and didn’t seem to be there, Darrell found himself alone. He commented that there was no need to lock the door…the danger was within the house. “I don’t think real monsters hide in the dark. I think they hide in the light. It is the best place to hide.” Take a look at the first few minutes of the interview.

Learning to cope with an internal pain by causing an external wound…as Rosie put it….it was understandable why Darrell turned to cutting. A cutter since his teens, he was crying out for someone to help him fight against someone he believed was too powerful to fight. I sit in amazement as he shared the MOST intimate details of his life. With tears in her eyes, Rosie shared that when she was young she would break the bones in her hands. Watching as these two incredible individuals opened up, I knew they were helping others.

At times adults don’t stop often enough to hear the silent cries of children. Clouded in shame or fear, the childlike words get lost within the cruelest of realities. Vulnerable and frozen. We ALL need to do a better job at seeing what is hidden.

Repeatedly Darrell mentioned the two worlds existing in abuse. The one of torture and betrayal of trust and love….and then the one where everyone pretends it isn’t really happening. This pattern is consistent in all forms of abuse. Silence. Unfortunately abuse can’t stop without breaking the cycle of silence. Nothing is more twisting than having to rely on someone that hurt you. Like being bandaged up by the one who wounded you in anger. That does such damage.

Letting go is the hard part. One important step in recovery is to recognize that the abuser is sick. Knowing that the person was created themselves. Darrell’s anguish is still palpable. He hadn’t seen his daughter in over a year…since she saw his drunk. As Rosie notes that he has hope and he isn’t repeating the cycle, tears come to his eyes. This is clearly very painful for him still. Rosie tried to reassure him….”You have to make a choice every day to live. And that’s what my therapist said to me literally a year ago.” Darrel recognized that allowing people to “get away with it” prevented him from moving forward. It is hard to let something lie in the past when it feels unfinished. Hopefully his book, God, If You’re Not Up There, I’m F*cked, will help him to move beyond the pain. Nothing is worse than allowing the abuser to continue their reign once you are old enough to know better. Don’t give them that power. You have ALL the power now.

I have to take a moment and applaud Darrell Hammond for opening up about something that is so incredibly personal and painful. By doing so, he has opened the conversation for others reminding us all that we need to ask more questions of our children…not just our own. I think all things happen for a reason. I am hopeful that by being on Rosie he will see that there is hope and he is not his past. He is so much more. He is brave.

Following Darrell’s interview, Tori Amos graced the stage with one lone piano singing her new hit “Silent All These Years” from her album Night of Hunters. I posted the clip earlier. She then joined Rosie in the chairs. She told stories about her writing process and how her daughter contributed. Tori was beaming as a proud momma. It can be hard to let your kids grow up…but clearly her daughter has found her own beat. Of course Rosie couldn’t resist inviting Tori to come to the wedding….or even play. She announced the ceremony should be in June or July. It is so great to see both Tori & Ro doing so well.