This week has been a week of change, revelations and surprises. Some making me question who I am. And why I am here. Some making me wonder what life is trying to teach me. Some making me shiver.
So last night I did something out of the ordinary because I had this deep desire to be among likeminded people. A desire to be enveloped in an energy frequency that I hoped would help to shift my energy. That would allow me to understand the emotions that are swirling through me without judgment. Without fear. Without apprehension.
I went to My Sereni-tea to a Healing Sanctuary one of my angel friends sent me an invitation for earlier in the week. Because when I received her invitation, something inside of me was moved and I knew I had to go. Despite it being Friday the 13th. The night before my family leaves to go on vacation. Despite the fact that I have not packed nor packed for my children. I knew I had to be there.
It was scheduled to start at 7 but I was at work trying to tidy all my affairs before leaving for 2 weeks so before I knew it, it was 7 and I was just getting into the elevator to leave the office. And I panicked because I did not want to miss the introduction to the Healing Sanctuary. Particularly since I had no idea what it was. Then I couldn’t find a parking spot when I got there so I had to drive around the block. Panicking some more. Questioning whether I was meant to go or not? Debating about whether to just drive home.
Questioning what a Healing Sanctuary was anyway. But then I found a parking spot so I got out of the car and ran to My Sereni-tea. I walked in to find a room full of people all dressed in white as that was what we were supposed to be dressed in and immediately I felt my stress levels diminish. Some people were standing. Some people were sitting. Some people were chatting quietly. While others had their eyes closed and were deep in meditative states. The energy in the room was electric full of possibility and anticipation.
I sat in a chair closed my eyes and let myself surrender to the energy in the room. Feeling every part of my body, mind, and soul giving way to the energy around me. I had no idea what was going on. I kept waiting for whatever was supposed to happen to begin. Instead the music kept playing softly in the background, lulling me slowly into the deepest recesses of my brain. Forcing me to relax even more. And then the door opened and the sound of one of my favorite songs, Ave Marie, came wafting through. A gut wrenching feeling went through me.
Three healers dressed in white came out of the room as if they were floating calling 3 names including mine. To say I was surprised is an understatement. I had no idea that I would be leaving the circle of people. So I walked with apprehension mixed with going with the flow into the room. Trusting I was where I was meant to be.
My healer asked me what my intention was for the healing and I had somewhat of an idea but I was not sure if I was ready to say because I was completely thrown off guard. So we decided to let it be a surprise. And then before I knew it, I was off on a journey that sent all sorts of emotions and sensations through my complete being – body, mind and soul. I could feel energy shifting. Feelings I didn’t know I had came rushing to the surface. Heat coursing through me body followed by intense coldness. Extreme and polar opposite sensations as chills ran through me. Then I felt myself totally surrendering to what was going on in my whole body.
Tears came that I could not stop. My body was vibrating at such a level that I felt dizzy when I got up. My ears seemed blocked as if I had been transported to a different and safe place and I did not want to come back. But I did and then the dam burst as tears came flooding down my face. As I realized I have been a light to so many people that in the process I have neglected to be a light in my own. That I have given so much of myself to others that I have forgotten to give to myself. That I have moved so far off centre that I am afraid of what and who I am becoming.
And then I was held by the other angels and spiritual sisters that were there allowing me to have my moment without judgment. Without fear. Without questioning. And I let it all out and then I felt joy. Pure joy. My whole being felt lighter, free.
So I sat for a moment allowing the sensations to fill my body. Allowing myself to surrender to the moment. And when I felt strong enough to leave the circle, I walked to the desk and pulled out a card at random. Elated to see that the card was about Fulfillment which was exactly the intention that came to me during my healing. And then I knew I was on the right track. That everything was going to be okay. That I was okay. That it was okay to leave the Healing Sanctuary and go back out into the world because I am a work of art in progress. A woman striving to be the best I can be. A light onto myself and others. To spread and share love. To be as authentic as I can be. And then I exhaled deeply and slowly.
Then I walked out of the door feeling like I was floating. Filled with love and peace and surrender. Knowing I had been embraced by the light because I am the light
***About Catherine Duffy – A woman in search of truth. A wife trying to love unconditionally. A mother trying to raise good citizens. A writer bursting through. Enjoying life’s journey. Catherine can be found @duffy_catherine and on her blog from Bermuda · http://bermudacat.blogspot.com.