O’Neal

OWN’s Ryan & Tatum: The O’Neals shared the raw and at times uncomfortable truth of a father and daughter as they struggled to repair their tumultuous relationship. This week’s finale was unable to bring closure to the healing that both Tatum and Ryan desperately needed. Anyone who watched the docu-series could see how much they loved one. Unfortunately as they moved through the process of forgiveness, the same walls seemed to be getting in their way. Whenever the topic of physical abuse was hinted at, Ryan pulled away and either got angry or threatened to abandon the process. With each denial, Tatum found herself pulling further away. As they both struggled to move forward, they looked to their closest friends to ground themselves from the storm.

Since the end of last episode, Tatum remained lost in her father’s insensitive comment about pushing her when she was pregnant. At the same time Ryan appeared ready to give up and abandon the relationship. Unsure how to handle it all, Ryan sought out the advice of a dear friend and neighbor. When she suggested that possibly Tatum just needed for him to acknowledge what happened so they could move through it, Ryan conceded, “I’ve done some acknowledging, not enough perhaps. But that comes with time. I’m still defensive.”

With all the tension surrounding the last therapy session, Ryan became even more concerned about Tatum’s upcoming book. He was obsessed with getting access to it. All of a sudden it became an issue of entitlement. Whereas in the beginning Tatum was offering her father a chance to read it, Ryan’s demands caused Tatum to pause and rethink the situation. Suddenly it was about control and his right to see it. Tatum didn’t react well to this. Her father didn’t have the right to place an ultimatum on her. The strain only grew stronger between them. He told his therapist, “I don’t want to be a fool that carries on with her and she’s writing terrible things. I should read the book. If it horrifies me, then I will strike her out…I can do that.” Yes, it was that easy. If she said something mean, it was over. Both Tatum and Ryan were guilty of this threat. Leaving was always on the table. It was a familiar pattern. Despite Dr. Kadish’s attempts to help Ryan see Tatum’s perspective, the session didn’t change his view. He was determined to see if she was telling too much or ruining his reputation as he felt she had done in her last book, A Paper Life. The more Ryan asked to read it…the more stressful it became. [read more…]

{ 1 comment }