PART 1
PART 2
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The Judds
Naomi and Wynnona support music schools for kids.
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Last night of their tour, Wynonna and Naomi perform an emotional song together.
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After almost 6 weeks of constant in-your-face togetherness, the therapy tour came to a close. Both Naomi and Wynonna took a moment to look back and appreciate the time they together, but worry about what lies ahead. Naomi realized the tour had been “transformative” for her and Wy. Closer and less judgmental, the Judds seemed to have really used this time to heal. However, Wynonna feared she may lose this closeness with her mom now that they are done touring.
In a session with Ted, Wynonna share what she had learned…“how many years we’ve wanted to be right rather than be loved and now we want to be loved”. Ted acknowledged they were changing the Judd’s legacy…”changed the direction of how this family is moving.” He helped them realize so much…that “you’re not responsible for what you don’t know, but once you do, you are”. As we watched mother and daughter, there was a lightness and a peacefulness that hadn’t been seen in the past episodes. It was as if they had their “O” moments and it clicked.
In this final episode, Wynonna presented a song to her mother, “Love It Out Loud”. Her and Cactus Moser, her boyfriend and fellow musician, had worked on it for some time and she wanted to give it to her as a “love offering”. In doing so, Wynonna fought back her feelings of insecurity with singing such a vulnerable and personal song. With Cactus and his mom, Bev, joining the posse this week, the timing was perfect. With love flowing all around, Wy was ready to say “I love you…the Wynonna way”. Of course, OWN timed it just right…airing it on Mother’s Day!
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The Judds poured it all out on the floor yet still had an ocean of hurt inside. This week’s show opened as Naomi talked about a conversation she had with Ashley. Feeling defensive, Naomi couldn’t stop trying to explain herself when all Ashley seemed to want was her mother to listen to her OWN truth. However, Naomi was so caught up in her own shame that she was unable to be there for her daughter.
Throughout this series, these women have no problem finding their voices….the problem has always been that they have trouble being heard! With Ashley’s book and the tour with Wynonna crashing all around her, reality hit Naomi…she wasn’t proud of the parent she had been to her children and that the whole world may judge her for it. Wynonna found herself once again trying to comfort her mother as Naomi shared that she knew Ashley was only speaking the truth. Unfortunately, it appeared to be too much truth for Naomi to take.
Although we aren’t sure how deep the pain goes, it’s clear Wynonna still had a barrier up and didn’t feel safe talking about it with her mother. She did share that her and her sister, Ashley, were left alone up to 12 hours a day without food. It wasn’t safe and it wasn’t good. “I don’t know Ashley’s full story, but I do know there has to be a cost for her because I know what I experienced”. Wynonna has her own issues with her mother and sister…being that it was Ashley who blurted out the devastating family secret that Wynonna’s father wasn’t her biological father when Wy was 30. Wynonna had lived her life with everyone knowing the secret but her. As the youngest of 3 sisters, I could only imagine that Wynonna’s world had been turned upside down. The people she trusted most suddenly felt like strangers…feeling as if they had a whole secret life without her.
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Feelings of judgment and disapproval are common in most parent child relationships, but mother-daughter relationships can be especially delicate and difficult for even the healthiest of families to understand. Each week, The Judds have shared their dysfunction, pain and frustration while silence has robbed them from truly understanding their OWN truth. Many of us can identify with bits and pieces of their story, but have no real clue of the pain they are in. This week Naomi took a sledgehammer to her wall of secrets and found that her daughter was there by her side.
This episode was SPA DAY! After 4 shows in a row, Wynonna and Naomi could use a day of pampering. As they joked about keeping their shavings to sell on eBay or offer as a fan giveaway…you couldn’t help but laugh and be a little grossed out! Then a mother-daughter moment…while Wynonna signed posters and tossed them onto the ground, her mother asked who was going to pick the posters up. Wynonna’s assistant jumped in immediately to claim the task but Wy got the “mom” look for Naomi. Irritated by her mother making a comment in front of her “employee”, Wynonna continued to feel hyper-sensitive with her mom. Now, I must say….I am a grown woman, but if my mom saw me tossing stuff onto the ground, she’d be irritated if I wasn’t the one picking it up. It is a mom thing…I get your point, but relax Wy!
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Secrets. When I was young…knowing a secret made me special. I knew something that other people didn’t. However as I got older, I realized secrets can burrow within us and slowly make us sick, even kill us. As I watched The Judds this week on OWN, I couldn’t help but want to hug them both…throughout the show.
If you recall, last week on Naomi shared a secret she had carried with her whole life. Her first real memory as a child was being molested. She was 3 ½ years old. For 65 years, she has stuffed this truth deep inside herself. Finally she felt “I can’t keep stuff repressed and down anymore.” After holding onto something so heartbreaking her entire life, she felt her daughters deserved to know.
While on stage on the 8th day of the tour, a heaviness came over Naomi. When Wynonna was young, her mother and her had become “very enmeshed to the point of where I didn’t know where I ended and she began.” She could sense something was wrong and recognized the vulnerable state her mother was in.
Naomi had grow up in a family full of shameful and horrific secrets that impacted everything in her life. Knowing this wouldn’t go away, Naomi spoke with her close friend and manager of 20 years, Kerry Hansen. Sitting quietly in her bus, she told her how she had been molested as a young girl. When she had shared this with her husband a few years back, he asked her why she had never told her mother. At that moment…Naomi “hit the wall” and realized my “mother doesn’t love me”. Not only was she kicked out when she became pregnant at 17, but Naomi couldn’t recall her mother ever saying that she loved her. Kerry then reminded her that one of the goals of this adventure was for them to make their relationship better. Tearing down the walls of secrets could do just that. However, Naomi didn’t want “Ashley and Wynonna to know…they think I am Super Woman…I can’t go there”.
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