What happens when we try too hard? When we push too much? When we feel like time is running out? What happens when we lose patience? When we want everything now rather than waiting for it to materialize? When we do nothing to make it materialize because we are so afraid of failing?
How do we know when we are doing what we are meant to be doing? Or how do we do what we are meant to be doing when we have responsibilities that we can’t just walk away from? Or are we always doing what we are meant to be doing?
When are we ever satisfied? Lately I have been thinking about dreams and goals that I would like to achieve and what I realized is that I have been manifesting many dreams and aspirations in my life. Only to discover that once I achieve them or manifest them they don’t feel the way I thought they would. They don’t bring me the joy I thought they would. The feelings of euphoria don’t last in the way I thought they would. Why is that?
I am finding the journey is so much better than the destination. But yet in some of the cases I have been so busy trying to get to the destination that I have rushed through the journey or been impatient with the journey that when I reach the destination I am disappointed. Leaving me to ask, are we ever satisfied or are we always seeking more?
Questioning when is enough enough? Asking the Universe and the Divine to help me to be more settled. To be more present as lately I am finding my thoughts are all over the place. Not lingering on one thought for too long. But bombarded with all sorts of questions and feelings. And then I feel overwhelmed so I don’t do anything which leaves me feeling disappointed. Leaving me feeling like I am standing on the opposite side of the street looking out over a beautiful green meadow and there on the other side is the Promised Land that I know is mine but for some reason I can’t get to it. Feeling like it is out of my reach because I am so busy trying to find every reason not to cross the meadow rather than just crossing it. One step at a time. Rather than just enjoying the beauty of the journey.
So this morning I decided to write about my frustrations, my concerns, my disappointments hoping that by doing so I can bring myself back to present moment living rather than worrying about time ahead of me that I have no control over. To remind myself my destination is reached simply by putting one foot in front of the other and going with the flow rather than running at full speed and not seeing the paths along the way that may take me to the Promised Land meant for me rather than the one I think is meant for me.
So today I will surrender and see where I end up rather than trying to end up before I even begin. Surrender to the present moment. Letting go of all expectation and worry and goals and dreams. Taking a page out of my children’ s book to enjoy every moment of my journey. Present moment living is not as elusive as we believe. It is real. Present all the time. A gift of the Universe. And it is all that we have. And for this lesson I am truly grateful. Amen.
***About Catherine Duffy – A woman in search of truth. A wife trying to love unconditionally. A mother trying to raise good citizens. A writer bursting through. Enjoying life’s journey. Catherine can be found @duffy_catherine and on her blog from Bermuda · http://bermudacat.blogspot.com.