My patience is really being tested this morning. I am now finding I am in some sort of cat and mouse game with the Internet. I am having to walk around the house to find pockets where I can get Internet access. My normal sanctuary for writing is off limits. No Internet access – not even on my blackberry.
For some reason we are being plunged into an information void. I feel like we are in a black hole with some sort of gravitational pull that is being thrust upon us for reasons I don’t understand. We have had every techie reviewing our problem and everyone is stumped. Then to wake up this morning to find I am now getting spotty Internet service from my blackberry is really causing me to become paranoid.
What in the world is the Universe trying to tell me? I am standing in the dark in the corner of my Laundry room looking out at the dark morning sky trying to understand the lesson I am meant to get from this torture. Staring at Venus the lone light in the otherwise black sky and asking her for guidance. For the strength to not become too much of a cynic. To accept that sometimes I will not always understand where I’m going or why the truth is being hidden from me but as long as I have faith, patience and the ability to surrender the darkness will be replaced with the light.
And even if I have to keep moving around until I find a path that allows me access to the place I need, then at least I will know it is okay to move. To understand and accept it is okay to do what I need to get me closer to where I am meant to be because sometimes the answer is not black and white. Sometimes it’s grey.
Just like I found a spot in my laundry that has given me a portal to the Internet, I am learning there is always a spot for us to find the portal to our innermost desires. And sometimes it’s under the most trying circumstances because only then are we able to access what we truly need because we are forced to think and operate outside of our comfort zones.
And for this trying lesson I am truly grateful. But I would still really like the Internet back now. Please.
***About Catherine Duffy – A woman in search of truth. A wife trying to love unconditionally. A mother trying to raise good citizens. A writer bursting through. Enjoying life’s journey. Catherine can be found @duffy_catherine and on her blog from Bermuda · http://bermudacat.blogspot.com.