After New York, Sarah set out for the “wonders” of Arizona. Looking for the spiritual part of the journey, Sarah seeks refuge with Shaman, Clay Miller. Sarah is hoping that with his help, she may find some compassion for herself…and come closer to finding the real Sarah.
“I help people live at the center of who they are. To be very authentic and truthful.
To come to know what it really means to love who they are.” – Shaman, Clay Miller
As Sarah recounts the personal path of her life ..and Clay tells her “how you meet your loses will determine the amount of peace that you have.” “As a child, you were told ‘This is how I want to see you.’ So there is a hunger for you to be seen…because being seen is equivelent to being truly loved,” he points out to her. The Shaman goes on to note that she is stuck in anger…and Sarah is stuck there because she was always told that “anger is an unacceptable emotion.”
“Our greatest pain comes from not believing in our own true worth.” - Shaman, Clay Miller
Pointing out that “rage is the most difficult one for people to know how to honor and how we relate to our own feelings,” the Shaman takes Sarah and the rocks of her undealt rage and emotions out into the middle of the Arizona desert. ”Honoring who you truly are” is what we are trying to get at with this journey. “Say WHY,” the Shaman tells her. “Can I not just say it quietly?” Sarah asks and for a moment, you can see the small child who has been taught to be polite and unseen. Reluctant to scream out the words “WHY” as the Shaman shows. “Honor that in yourself…wouldn’t that little girl like to have known why her mother left?” he asks her. “The pain of why…” and allowing yourself to feel the pain. “Don’t think about it,” he tells Sarah. “Just say it….don’t think about it…just feel it.” Trust yourself…trust what you feel. This is the lesson from the desert and the rocks…
A little spiritually drained from her work with the Shaman, Martha Beck, a well known Life Coach, enters the picture to help Sarah trust herself and her instincts again. Sarah admits that she is afraid that not only will she not “find Sarah” but that if she does, she’ll get it wrong. “One place that you will not find Sarah…is in another person’s eyes…as long as you are trying to be approved by others…you can’t really listen to your own true self,” Martha tells her. The Blind Maze is an exercise to get Sarah ready for the work that Equine therapy that Martha has planned for her tomorrow. The maze, Martha tells us, is “to simulate what life does to us…it’s an unknown path, nobody gives us direction…there are false leads…there are obsticles…false trails…frustration…confusion…All of us have to learn to be ourselves and be calm, even in a difficult world.” During the maze, Sarah asks, “Is it the end of the road or shall I go on…” with the response back, “You have to explore to find out.” Isn’t that so symbolic of life?
“Everything you need is within you.” – Koelle Simpson, Equine Therapist
With a long history and an emptional connection with horses, Sarah works toward finding herself with a little equine therapy. The horse that Sarah is working with has trust issues because of past abuse…so Sarah’s goal is to earn his trust without seeking his approval. Trusting really comes from trusting her own instints on how to handle the situation. Sarah learns…the energy that she puts off IS the energy that she gets back. Your life mirrors you and what you put out. WOW. POWERFUL. Your energy is EVERYTHING. This is amazing…
“The biggest priority is that we stay connected to the part of ourselves
that is clear and loving who we are…” – Koelle Simpson
Fear can be paralizing…but Sarah realizes through the horses eyes that the “fear is not real…” and that things are getting better…and she is getting closer to changing her life forever and finding the peace within herself….