Journey’s take us in all different directions. Some familiar…some new. This week, Finding Sarah begins in New York City. Getting to work to try to start building her life back up, Sarah tells reminds us that she has lost everything. “The company, it was called Hartmore…my brand – books, tv, film and red stuff…” she says, reminding us of the successful children’s book venture that she once had. “I lost all my savings in the company due to mismanagement…” While she knows she needs to get back to work, she has a great mountain to climb as she begins to reinvents herself…for herself and for the world.
Sarah’s goal of animating her “Little Red” children’s book collection is one that she is focusing on…but the meeting with older business men doesn’t seem to be going well. The reaction – cold. The men in the room – cautionairy and cold. “It’s a disadvantage on not knowing how people will react to me…and I’m having a really hard time with it,” Sarah says. “I am sad and not ready to fly.” The outcome of the meeting was not good at all…
As we move through her day and her climb, we go along to a doctor’s visit. Sarah’s doctor for about 4 years, Dr. Nicholas Gonzalez reads her results of some of her recent tests. Her doctor tells us that Sarah “isn’t under normal stress…it’s not normal to be in the public eye and under this amount of stress.” To deal with the stress, Sarah’s past personal trainer and friend, Sherri Cobb, comes over for a quick massage and walk through the park. “Everyday is a new day of gently getting through,” Sarah says. THIS is a lesson that I think everyone that has gone through something difficult should remember…EVERY day is a new day of gently getting through…but you will get through it…
Within her journey of finding her true self, Sarah visits Suze Orman again. Suze tells her, ”As long as you are being supported and taken care of, you are never going to find yourself because you don’t have to…” Girlfriend, it’s the nice version of the Suze smackdown. “You have to want to get to work.” Suze tells Sarah. “…People will judge you…people care about reality. Finding Sarah means taking YOUR power…doing what’s right for you,” Suze says. Royalty or not…the problems are real.
“I’m going to take my power and I’m only going to have people in my life who respect me, that have my best interest at heart and help me find me…” Suze Orman
At Simon and Schuster, Sarah’s publisher, Judith Curr and editor, Emily Bestler have Sarah on the defensive. Sarah is under contract to write another book and the book they want from her is one about her journey, beginning with the “May incident” as she calls it. They are looking for her to bare her soul…and Sarah’s not totally ready for opening up wounds that have not healed yet…it really seems that the whole thing still has her heart bleeding.
“You cannot change what you do not acknowledge.”- Dr. Phil
Dr. Phil is back in the city for a quick visit and session with Sarah and tells her that she is not seeing what has happened. Dr. Phil is being brutally honest with her. He’s not buying that she is justifying “getting the money for her friend” as the reason for the scandal and tells her that she is not owning her own actions. He also points out that what she does is self-sabbatoging. Dr. Phil tells her she’s in denial…but Sarah doesn’t want to hear it…or isn’t ready to hear it. “I believe that we have within us the answer to every question and every challenge that we will ever face in our life,” Dr. Phil tells her. “The only time is right now and the clock is ticking.”
Dr. Phil tells Sarah that he thinks that she behaves like an addict. “I think you behave in these situations very much like an addict…rejected people seek acceptance…YOU are addicted to approval and acceptance.” With this, we see a ah-ha moment with Sarah. She has a label. She’s an addict of approval and acceptance. So, now that we have a diagnosis…she wants to know what is the treatment? “Learn to say NO,” Dr. Phil tells her. “If you have to say yes to get acceptance…then the hell with them.” Maybe they are not really friends. These are the basics. “You don’t NEED for everyone to love you,” Dr. Phil tells her. “If you feel that way about yourself, you won’t be so thirsty to get it from someone else.”
Empowered and hopeful…Sarah journeys on to find the most important person’s approval and acceptance…her OWN.