This Sunday night, Oprah will be interviewing one of the most loved American Idol winners of all time…Carrie Underwood.  For the first time, she will sit down with Carrie and her husband, Mike Fisher, at their cabin in Nashville, Tennessee.   This will be the first television interview together as a couple…and of course it is with Oprah.

Carrie’s rise to fame was anything but conventional so it stands to reason that others may wonder if her life is a bit unconventional too.  Enjoy the clips as Oprah sits down with Carrie and her husband, hockey star Mike Fisher.  Then be sure to catch the entire interview this Sunday, May 20th at 9/8C…only on OWN!

Carrie & Mike talk about what it is like to be married.

 Listen in on their family plans!

A definition that Oprah holds close to her heart…one of forgiveness. “Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could be any different.” Mourning the “if onlys” only holds us all back from moving forward in our lives. Another lesson that all of us should be sharing with the world. Take a moment to remind yourself why forgiveness is so important in the journey to living your best life!

Catherine Duffy

This weekend a friend and I were sending each other emails talking about where we are in life, where we thought we would be in life and where we would like to be in life. We met some thirteen years ago when we were at pivotal and transitional periods of our lives. When we became new mothers. When we changed our lives to become full time mothers. To understand what our new  roles meant. To conquer motherhood as we had done in our pervious lives as corporate women.

We used to walk and talk for hours, pushing our boys, trying to right the Universe. Trying to understand where we were in our lives and what motherhood meant to us. We spent lots of time together talking philosophically about everything. She from England. She from a creative career. Me from Bermuda. Me from an analytical career. Two different women from two different cultures, backgrounds but brought together for a common cause to provide companionship to each other during a period of significant growth. To help each other. To direct each other. To contradict each other. To pick each other up.

She was in my life for three solid years. Then she left. Went back home. And though we stay in touch, it changes according to where we are in our lives. According to whether there is a need for us to be in each other’s live consistently or not. Lately we have been more in each other’s lives because we are on the cusp of something again. Something we can’t figure out. So once again we are fully immersed in each other – some ten years later. Living vicariously through each other. Challenging each other to be the best woman, mother, wife, friend, sister that we can. Sending each other long emails about life, people, opportunity, marriage, motherhood, psychology, spirituality. She in England. Me in Bermuda. Two different women from two different cultures brought together again to help each other grow.

On Mother’s Day we connected in a major way. Both of us confessing some pretty raw emotions to the other. Separated by distance. Brought together by technology. Hearts open. Souls bare. Because when we have true friendship we can ride the distance. We can ride the times when we are not in each other’s lives. We can ride the challenges we face.

For my birthday she sent me a book called Radical Acceptance, Embracing Your Life With The Heart Of  A Buddha by Tara Brach PH.D. I have to admit when I got the book, its title intimidated me. Scared me even. I love the concept of Buddha but to actually receive a book about it, I was afraid that if I read it and did not find the answers I needed I would be disappointed. So I put it to one side. On my night stand near me but I did not touch it.  But for some reason after our exchange over the weekend I knew she had sent it to me for a reason. I knew she was back in my life for a reason. So last night I opened the book to a random page after asking the Universe a question.  And this is how the Universe answered me through the book.

“The bodhisattva’s aspiration, “May my life be of benefit to all beings” is a powerful tool for remembering our belonging and widening the circles of our compassions. In resolving to help all suffering beings, the bodhisattva is not assuming a grandiose role or holding to some unreachable ideal. If we see ourselves as small and separate individuals trying to take on the world as our responsibility, we set ourselves up for delusion and failure. Rather, our aspiration to be of benefit arises from the radical realization that we all belong to the web of life, and that everything that happens within it affects everything else. Every thought we have, every action we take has an impact for good or for ill. An aboriginal woman from Australia speaks from this sense of relatedness in a powerful way: If you have come to help me, then you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your destiny is bound up with mine, then let us work together.”

“When we feel togetherness, there are countless ways to express our care.  …While it is easy to get caught up in believing we should be doing something more or different, what really matters is that we care. As Mother Teresa teaches “We can do no great things – only small things with great love.”

And then I knew. And then I understood. The Universe is providing for me in every way. It is giving me direction and answers every single day. Just not in the way I imagined the answers would come but they are there. And I am important. I am here for a reason. I am playing a pivotal role in my life and the lives of others every single day just by caring. Just by being all that I am. And I cannot force anything. Cannot change fate. But I can be grateful, thankful for all that I have and I will continue to live out my life as a caring being. Doing small things with great love. And I am. And I shall.

This blog is dedicated to my dear sister friend from England who helped me to shift my consciousness. To retell my story. From a physical distance but in a spiritual closeness. Thank you sister friend. Thank you.

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About Catherine Duffy – A woman in search of truth. A wife trying to love unconditionally. A mother trying to raise good citizens. A writer bursting through. Enjoying life’s journey.  Catherine can be found @duffy_catherine and on her blog from Bermuda · http://bermudacat.blogspot.com.

Welcome to Sweetie Pie’s was all over the place this week. Well, actually Tim was all over the place and everyone else spent their time trying to refocus him…even J.R. As the new restaurant got closer to opening, the momentum was increasing and all the pieces were coming together. Unfortunately when that happens, the little things start to add up and soon you find that you have a long list of little things that have to get taken care of. Most importantly was Miss Robbie trying to secure an additional loan to take care of the roof, patio and incidentals. Luckily the bank was able to extend her the money and she was able to move forward.

With that good news behind her, she focused on opening auditions to her employees for the Upper Crust entertainment. Although most weren’t exactly what she was looking for, she did find a standout. However the biggest surprise was Jenae and friends who entertained her and Tim with a little “We Are Family” in hopes of getting her husband’s attention. After a few Joe Jackson moments during practice, Jenae donned a fancy dress and headed to the audtion. Completely catching Miss Robbie and Tim off guard, smiles filled the room. She was looking for Tim’s attention and she got it! It was very sweet.

As his mom’s dreams were finally coming to fruition, Tim was focused on finding his own dream. With his first gig behind him, he had caught the bug. He wanted to break into the music business and make his own dreams come true. With the wedding date pushed back, he turned his attention to a building that was hitting the market…an old nightclub. His thoughts were that he could get famous musicians into the club and he could open for them all. Meeting resistance from all around him, he decided to call in his best friend J.R. He knew that he would be on board. However, to his surprise, J.R. opposed the idea. He realized it had very little to do with their band…and would actually take away from their time to do music. Shocked by his response, Tim realized maybe it was too much too soon. Who would have thought that J.R. would be the sensible one? Lucky for Miss Robbie and Jenae!

Love, love, love getting a little extra from OWN! Here are a few extra deleted scenes from Beverly’s Full House. Enjoy!

San Francisco CatCalls

David and Anansa get creative with their cocktails.

Beverly and her friend, fashion designer, Lloyd Klein, get fabulous!

Special visit from the jeweler.

Throughout my life, I’ve always tucked things away places and usually, I forget about them.  Maybe it’s a bad habit that I got into many years ago or my subconscious simply placing notes and gifts to myself along the path of my life, knowing that someday, somewhere along the way, I’ll see them again.  And my favorite hiding place for all of these gifts just happen to be books.  I’m a huge book lover and early on, I adopted my own bookmark strategy.  With each book, I try to pick up something meaningful to use to hold my place. I learned long ago that while “earmarking” the page with that little bend in the corner, using a sticky note or a boring bookmark to hold my spot may work for some people, I prefer to do it differently.  I love books so much that I want to put love into them as well.  So for years, memories of photos, ticket stubs, postcards and so much more have been tucked away amidst the pages of some of my favorites.  Some, holding pages.  Most, holding memories.  Sprinkled mementos of something that touched my heart and that I don’t want to lose.  So, into the pages they go…and when the book goes back to the shelf or gets stacked in the corner somewhere, usually so do the gifts.

Tonight, I picked up a book that I used to keep by my bedside and purchased during college.  “A Guide for the Advanced Soul – A Book of Insight” by Susan Hayward.  The cover told me to “Hold a problem in your mind. Open this book to any page and there will be your answer.”  Like a little Magic 8 Ball made of paper, for years I found wisdom and comfort in having it close.  So, tonight when I picked it up for the first time in a long time, unexpectedly a postcard dropped out.  It was dated 2004 and from my cousin who died from breast cancer in 2005.  We were like sisters and I’ve been thinking of her a lot. Suddenly, it felt like she was here all over again…telling me how proud she was of me and how she wished we could spend more time together.  I felt for a moment that I could pick up the phone and call her. I started to cry.  Everything happens for a reason.  At that same moment when the tears just started to collect in the corner of my eyes, a sticky note fell out of the book. In a child’s 7 year old writing it said, “dear paula, please let me put my stinky feet in your bed. p.s. i love you.”  Another gift.  A note from my now teenage nephew, reminding me of how wonderful it has been to watch him be born and grow up and be a part of his life…and that even though he’s growing up, he is still that same little boy with a silly sense of humor who loved to leave sticky and was always looking for a sleepover party with his cool aunt and a long night of reading Harry Potter books. Looking a little more, I found a couple of old photos and a poem that the same cousin gave to me over 20 years ago….handwritten with care in bright pink pen. Secret messages tucked away just waiting for me to discover them again…all filled with magic to take me back to a memory of love.

After I took them out, I carefully put them back into the pages.  The memories and love I felt when they just happened to drop out of the book was amazing.  Tomorrow, I’ll call my aunt and share the story with her…that her only daughter who left too soon paid me a little visit.  It should make her smile and laugh.  And I’ll take the sticky note out and remind my little nephew who now stands above almost everyone in the family that his sticky note from almost 7 years ago is still so special to me.  Someday, I will pick up the same book….long after I’ve forgotten what is in there and again and probably when I need to see it most…and I’ll feel the joy and magic that only hidden memories and messages of love can bring and it’s a habit that I highly recommend.

As my mom gets older, like many other moms, there seems to be a sense of urgency in passing on her lessons.  Whether she’s afraid she will forget them or simply feels unheard, her goal is to make sure her children have all the information they may need in life.  Afraid that we may miss something, including her story, she takes any opportunity she can to get our attention and plant these seeds of wisdom.  Within each lesson and story lies an amazing opportunity to get to know her better and by taking a few moments to listen, not only do we show her that we care but we also have the chance to fill our own cup with knowledge.

In honor of Mother’s Day, here are 12 lessons my mom has shared with me over the years:

• We are all the same.  My mom, a single mother in the 1970’s living in the South, taught her daughters to be accepting and loving of ALL people.  She empowered us to see and respect each person regardless of race or personal choices.  We lived opened-minded and open-hearted…and still do. 
• You reap what you sow.  One of my favorite lessons that I have written about before.  The work and intention you put into life will manifest in the future.  You are tending your gardens now…only you can determine if it is plentiful or barren. 
• You don’t need anyone to make you happy…only you can do that.  Instead of spending my youth looking for a guy to “complete me”, I was just happy and love came.  What I was surprised to learn at such a young age is that love doesn’t always make you happy.  Being happy makes you happy.
• If you get in the mud with the pigs, the mud is bound to come off on you.  So pick your friends wisely.
• You can survive anything. “God won’t give you more than you can handle” my mom would tell me. And she was always right. I learned from each mistake and every obstacle…and not only did I survive, I am stronger for it.
• You can only teach by example, not by force.  A single mom of three girls, my mother never once raised her hand to us.  I am sure at times she wanted to, but she never did.  She believed spanking to punish would only teach violence.  Violence breeds violence and it was NEVER allowed in our home.  If you really want to teach children…talk to them.  Until they understand why their choice was bad, they will continue to repeat it.
• Don’t wait for a special day to wear your new coat, do it NOW!  When my mother was 5 years old, she had gotten a beautiful new coat for Christmas.  She was only allowed to wear it to church or special occasions.  Before she could get a stain or pull a thread on the coat, her house burned down leaving them with nothing but the clothes on their backs.  As I grew up, my mother encouraged me to put on my fancy coat or anything I wanted…even if I was just walking the dog.  It was a great reminder to stop waiting to enjoy life.
• “You don’t have to like your sister, but you have to love her.”   Growing up with two older sisters, we argued over chores, clothes, mom’s love, the telephone…pretty much anything.   No matter how loud we got, my mom would look at us and simply say, “You don’t have to like them, but have to love them.”   Maybe that is why my sisters and I have always been so close.  Mom understood that family was more important than anything we could ever argue about.
• Anything is possible.  My mom lived this lesson…seriously!  She was superwoman.  My mom has always seen infinite possibilities for her daughters and because of that it has opened the world up to us.  Where most would give up, my mom knew she had to push forward to be an example for her daughters, even if it meant driving a VW Bug up into the back of an UHaul truck.  True story that I will have to share later!
• Trust your gut.  If it doesn’t feel right…don’t do it!  My mom always taught us to listen to our instincts from a young age.  As three daughters who got into their share of trouble, I am certain this lesson has saved us on many occasions.
• Money doesn’t make you happy.  When my mother left my abusive father, she walked away from a lot of money.  She was beautiful, single, had three kids and men were lining up.  As they tried to shower her with Mercedes, trips around the world and money, my mom never took a single gift.  Money wasn’t important.  She knew that how you treat each other is all that matters.   My father had millions from the business he and my mother created, yet he only gave her a little over $200 a month in child support…courtesy of the judge he paid off.  However, my mom knew the money didn’t matter.  She was just grateful that we were all together…and we were happy.
• You can’t see the future if you keep looking in the rearview mirror.  Whether we are talking about past loves or past mistakes, my mom always knew that there was no value in lingering over the ashes.  In order to thrive, you have to move on and leave the past behind you.

Do you have a special lesson passed down to you?  Please share it with all of us by leaving a comment.

]]> http://www.thedailyown.com/super-soul-sunday-this-weeks-breathing-space-14/feed 0 http://www.thedailyown.com/carrie-underwood-husband-mike-fisher-give-oprah-first-televised-interview-on-oprahs-next-chapter http://www.thedailyown.com/carrie-underwood-husband-mike-fisher-give-oprah-first-televised-interview-on-oprahs-next-chapter#comments Tue, 15 May 2012 01:45:17 +0000 patricia http://www.thedailyown.com/?p=14824

It was almost seven years ago that Carrie Underwood took Hollywood by storm. Her world turned completely upside down after winning American Idol in 2005. She was a young, country singer from the small town of Checotah, Oklahoma…which I have driven through and believe me it is little. As most know her voice is amazing and her journey has become the ultimate “good ole’ girl makes good” story.

Thanks to OWN, this Sunday we get to watch as Oprah sits down with the first interview Carrie Underwood and her hockey-player husband, Mike Fisher, gave at their cabin in Nashville. Sharing stories of her rise to fame, the delicate balance of fame and marriage for both her and her husband and even a peek at the plot of land they are planning to build their dream home on. This episode, like most, will be great so don’t miss out!

Take a peek and be sure to set your DVR for “Oprah’s Next Chapter” Sunday, May 20th at 9/8C…only on OWN!

Meditation is more than finding peace and quite and twenty good minutes.  Meditation is about slowing down and connecting with your inner spirit and the world.  It’s about aligning and connecting the dots between your mind, body and soul.  Experiencing the moment during the day where you are most present in your body and life is the most clear.  But for those on the go who often live in the world of mult-tasking and over whelming to-do lists, here is an idea to help you find those moments and the peace and connection that meditation will bring to your life in three simple steps:

1. Find something you do all the time during the day like washing your hands, brushing your teeth, taking a walk somewhere, doing the dishes…an action that you do on your own and on a regular basis.
2. Once you identify that activity, slow down and be mindful about it. Pay attention to your breathing as you take a deep breath and as you exhale.  Notice your energy, your muscles in your face, your arms, your chest rise, your heart beating … Connect with how your body moves and be focused on  yourself in that moment.
3. When you start drifting back to your to do list or the stress of the day, notice the thoughts, put them aside and go back to focusing on  your breathing and connecting with your body while you are doing that activity.

Today, find your one moment as you brush your teeth or wash your face or take a morning walk.  Spend a few minutes and listen to your body and your senses.  Make this your own meditation. Maybe you will find your own connection with your mind, body and spirit.  Take the time.  You are worth it.