Oprah’s LifeClass

I Have BAITERs

by paula on April 29, 2013

inspiration quoteI have BAITERs.  I didn’t know they had a name until Dr. Phil told me.  I have known them, loved them, and encouraged them with my actions. I have supported them, ran to them in a moments notice and in retrospect, I may have even been one with my choice of words or in the midst of a storm.  I have and have had BAITERs in my life.  NOW…what am I supposed to do with this information?

Last night on Oprah’s Lifeclass, Dr. Phil sat down with Lifeclass students to start talking about life and the lessons he lays out in his new book, “Life Code”…In the hour, he opened the conversation to start talking about different toxic people that show up in our lives that may go unnoticed.  Giving them the acronym of “BAITER,” Dr. Phil spells it out clearly what these people are set out to do to your life…take it over.  A BAITER stands for the following kinds of people that show up in your life – Backstabbers, Abusers, Imposters, Takers, Exploiters, and those who are Reckless with your life and with theirs.

From the live taping of the show on Monday to the network airing on Sunday night, I’ve been walking around with all of this information and with questions - I have had BAITERs in my life.  Some are still lingering around. Am I something of a BAITER magnet?  And if I am, how do I stop the pull…and an even bigger question, can you love a BAITER without letting them wreak havoc on your life?

Throughout my life, friends, family and even a fiancée have shown up as regular people only to creep over and cross the BAITER line somewhere in the process.  And while they may have slipped into destructive behavior, here’s my role in all of this…I didn’t do anything about it…at first.  I allowed for people to use me, take advantage of me, and be reckless with my open heart, my generosity and my forgiveness.  The man I was going to marry once said to me, “Well, I know I can screw you over and win you back.  I’ll just keep trying really hard and sooner or later, I know you’ll take me back.”  Today that declaration would receive a raised eyebrow, a sarcastic “Reaaaaallllly?” and then me walking out the door.  Done.  Back then, when I was amidst my BAITER lessons, I think I laughed it off…but only on the outside.  Inside, I raised an eyebrow, thought “Reaaaallllly?” and my heart started walking out the door.

Once I stopped minimizing the actions and I started recognizing and trying to stop letting this behavior creep into my life, the consequence of learning the lessons became the closing off of my heart.  Protected…but tucked away in darkness…this is how I handled the BAITERs in my life.  That was until recently…when I realized that closing off my heart only takes away the sunlight that it needs in order to grow…and that I am strong enough to see bad behavior, realized I cannot change it, and turn the corner and keep on walking and moving forward in life.

So while Lifeclass and Dr. Phil give me more to think about and more labels to attach to my life experiences, this I know for sure…BAITERs will show up in your life.  Everything in life is drawn to the love and light that you put off into the world…just like the plant leans towards the window with a yearning for the sun to grow and be strong.  Love and light are natural magnets for everything.  But with your love and light, open your eyes and when you see a BAITER show up in your life, raise an eyebrow….and take your light and your life towards a different direction.  Really.

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10 Things We All Can Do Fearlessly

by patricia on November 20, 2012

How many times have you found yourself at the edge of a new choice and completely unable to just say, “yes”?  You are there….holding your breathe but the fear of something new holds you back.  It is normal to instinctively cling to the warmth of the known.

We all have done it.  Some stay in relationships or jobs too long while others eat the same meals over and over.  There is value in comfort but sometimes we all need to release the breathe and just say “YES!”. While it is impossible for me to un-glue your feet…I can hopefully get you in the road.

Here are 10 things you should be fearless with…
 
  • Love.  So often we guard our hearts when in truth we all need to open them wider. Never be afraid to love and be loved…because in the end it is always worth it.
  • Exercise.  Don’t let your weight hold you back for getting out there.  It’s easy to hide behind your own eyes and not want to bring attention to yourself.  It doesn’t matter who watches your journey…it just matters that you are taking it.
  • Telling the Truth.  Hiding behind politeness, especially as women, we tend to hold back the truth.   No one wants to make someone feel bad.  However the truth is just that…and I must say it feels incredible to live in it, especially with yourself.
  • Learning.  In one of my college courses I sat next to an older woman who had long been retired and was enjoying the graceful years of her life.  As she listened and took notes, I recall thinking…when I grow up, I want to be just like here.  Never stop yourself from doing something because you think you missed your moment.
  • Asking for what you want.  Growing up the polite child of a single mom,  I was raised to never ask for anything and appreciate whatever comes my way.  A true child of sincere gratitude, it was foreign to me to think that I should ask for what I want.  But the truth is people can’t  read your mind.  If you want something…you just have to ask for it!  You have nothing to lose.
  • Trying something new. I can’t tell you how many times I have I have held my breathe as I sit in a great restaurant and listen to the chef’s specials of the day and pause…too long. Sometimes even the smallest leaps seem risky. Next time, I am totally ordering the chef’s special!
  • Being imperfect.  Despite what advertisers say, you don’t have to be perfect.  It is our imperfections that create our uniqueness.  Embrace it and live your imperfections loudly.
  • Changing your story.  It is never too late to change your story.  You are not powerless….in fact you write your story with each and every word.  SO change your words.  Change your story.  Change your life.
  • Owning your body.  Many of us dread putting on a swimsuit but it is important that you don’t stay out of the water because you can’t handle the thought of being seen.  We may not have the bodies we had in our mid 20s but who cares!  Chances are you spend far more time thinking about it than anyone else who sees you will.  Take a swim and enjoy life!
  • Setting BIG goals.  Dare to dream in a HUGE way.  The Daily OWN set what we felt were pretty adventurous goals and within 15 months we reached them all….and even met and took photos with Oprah Winfrey and Gayle King.   When reflecting back, my sister and I realized, anything is possible when the right energy goes out into the world AND no dream is too big.

TonyRobbins tells us that fear is natural and a good thing.  It prompts us to change and can even protect us.  But one thing no one wants to see is fear paralyzing you from living your best life.   Instead breath through the fear and find the courage to break free from it.  Once that happens…you will soar!

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A Love Letter To Yourself

by paula on November 16, 2012

During Oprah’s very first Lifeclass on OWN she ended the class with a beautiful poem.  When I get lost in the chaos of the day…I stop and think of this poem.  This is a love letter to remind yourself…you are loved.

Love After Love by Derek Walcott

The time will come when, with elation you will greet yourself arriving at your own door, in your own mirror and each will smile at the other’s welcome, and say, sit here. Eat. You will love again the stranger who was your self.

Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart to itself, to the stranger who has loved you all your life, whom you ignored for another, who knows you by heart. Take down the love letters from the bookshelf, the photographs, the desperate notes, peel your own image from the mirror. Sit. Feast on your life.

The time will come when, with elation you will greet yourself arriving at your own door, in your own mirror and each will smile at the other’s welcome, and say, sit here. Eat. You will love again the stranger who was your self.

Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart to itself, to the stranger who has loved you all your life, whom you ignored for another, who knows you by heart. Take down the love letters from the bookshelf, the photographs, the desperate notes, peel your own image from the mirror. Sit. Feast on your life.

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A Year in Oprah’s Lifeclass

by paula on October 10, 2012

“Instead of looking for answers outside of ourselves,
the real work of your life is the continual work on yourself and self-discovery.”
– Oprah, From her 1st Lifeclass Webcast, October 10th, 2011

Last year on October 10th, 2011, Oprah sat down to her first Lifeclass. Settling in to the familiar surroundings of her Chicago Harpo Studios, Oprah shared the table with Eckhart Tolle as they talked and taught us about the ego.  Now, a year later I am reflecting back on this Lifeclass experience.  It has been nothing short of life changing…and I bring such tremendous gratitude for the journey.

In the early days of Lifeclass, for those first 25 classes, we were submerged into a 25 day, 2 hour intense program that focused on everything from ego to forgiveness to recognizing joy rising and everything in between.  These first five weeks that came to the world last Fall were intense and full of paradigm shifts on how to look at the world and how to move through your own life.  These beginning classes were raw, intimate and provided amazing tools on how to change anything in the way of living your best life.  Oprah and her Lifeclass team taught us to wake up, be aware and don’t get in your own way.  The early moments brought us an hour of teaching and an hour of live web courses…sitting with Oprah and her co-teachers…sharing the space and the moment.  There was something magical about knowing that they were live and that you could be part of the experience.  These classes did everything to break the mold of regular TV and bring something special to the world.

Over the past year, Oprah and her teachers have traveled the world, have grown their lessons from a small class to concert-sized settings and have opened their doors to the world to attend.  Through it all, big and small venues alike, they have offered something pretty rare… open discussion and insight into our core self….into the spirit of who we are and who we aspire to become.

Today, Oprah’s Lifeclass turns one.  Full of gratitude, my sister and I are so very grateful that it was brought into this world…Lives have been changed. Lessons have been learned. Possibilities and dreams released into the Universe and realized. Thank you Oprah and the whole Lifeclass team, for seeing the vision and for changing the world, one class at a time.  Happy anniversary.

To celebrate the first anniversary, here is the first Lifeclass webcast.

Watch live streaming video from oprahslifeclass at livestream.com
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Advice from Oprah’s First Lifeclass – Sit. Feast on Your Life

by paula on October 9, 2012

At the end of Oprah’s very first Lifeclass, she ended the webcast with the following poem.  The words sing the vision of this amazing program on OWN…you matter.

Love After Love by Derek Walcott

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was yourself.

Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

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Calling All Lifeclass Students in Houston!

by paula on August 28, 2012

Texas might have just gotten a little hotter!  Oprah is coming to town!  Oprah’s Lifeclass is taking the show on the road again and coming to Houston….the only place that I have ever seen cowhide line the walls of elevators (it’s true people!).   

Oprah’s Lifeclass will be filming two shows from the Hobby Center for the Performing Arts in Sarofim Hall in Houston, Texas, on Friday, October 5, 2012 and is looking for audience members and good students!  The ticket window is ONLY OPEN FOR 1 DAY so requests will be coming in fast!

If you want Oprah to save you a seat, make sure you request your ticket NOW!  The reservation window for requesting tickets is only open until Wednesday, August 29, at 11:00 p.m. CT….so what are you waiting for?  Go on now y’all…and get to class. Here is the official page to request your seats! Good luck!

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Join Oprah’s Lifeclass LIVE Today!

by paula on August 13, 2012

Today, Oprah takes us back to Harpo Studios and into her virtual classroom.  Oprah’s Lifeclass will be taping two shows live today to bring to OWN later this Fall.  But, for the rest of the world if you have a little time and an internet connection, you can get to class!  Oprah’s virtual classroom is open worldwide to students, so global fans grab your notebook and come to class!

Join the classroom experience, raise your hand, and join in the conversation.  Your questions, comment or tweet just might be of the conversation. You never know!  Oprah and Iylana Vanzant will be taping two classes.  Join in at 11am and 3pm EST from anywhere in the world via Oprah.com or Livestream on Facebook.  Drop-ins are welcome!  Lessons are everywhere.  Hope we see you in class! Here’s what’s on today’s lesson plan:

  • 11 a.m. ET: “Terrible Things Women Do to Each Other”
  • 3  p.m. ET: “Destructive Family Secrets”

 

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Oprah’s Lifeclass on Growing Beyond Guilt – The Recap and The Videos

by paula on July 31, 2012

Last Sunday night, OWN brought us an all new Oprah’s Lifeclass and lessons on letting go of guilt.  As Iyanla Vanzant and Oprah sat on the cozy Harpo studios stage, it was reminiscent of The Oprah Winfrey Show.  The crazy part…it was filmed one year to the date that Oprah filmed her last show for the legendary talk show series.  Showing that the world always has a plan…and for this show, the plan for Oprah was to take her back home.  As the studio filled with beautifully sparkling people and some familiar faces, the topic was heavy and the purpose of the show was to grow beyond that heavy heart and move past the hurt.  If we can learn to heal our own souls, we will bring more joy to the world. Our Lifeclass lesson – to grow beyond guilt.

As guests opened their hearts of what punishes them and holds them under water, Iyanla Vanzant and Oprah gave us insight to help us all just let it go.  Here are a few of the lessons that we made notes on to keep in mind when you are dealing with guilt.

  • Guilt is a wasted emotion. It is unGodly. Take responsibility and make conscious choices to do better. - Iyanla
  • Sometimes you have to give yourself permission to be ok. – Iylana
  • Guilt is different from shame. Shame says there is something wrong with who I am; Guilt says there is something wrong with what I’ve done. – Lifeclass 
  • 3 Reasons people feel Guilty: You knew better, You caused hurt, harm, or danger, or You disappoint someone. – Lifeclass
  • Take guilt as your cue to learn a lesson. Don’t carry the guilt. Carry the lesson and move forward in your life. – The Daily OWN
  • Think of how much more open the world would be without judgement & without guilt.Now try to make that happen in your life.  - The Daily OWN

For those who missed the show or only have a few minutes to take the lesson in bite size pieces, here are a few videos from OWN.  Enjoy. Learn the lesson.  And then, go out and live your best life without any guilt.

From Oprah’s Lifeclass:  Iyanla Vanzant Reveals What Happens When You Argue Against Reality -Iyanla Vanzant shares words of wisdom from author Byron Katie with those who are grappling with guilt. Find out what happens if you argue against reality. Plus, Iyanla encourages viewers to take responsibility for how they respond to any given situation, including matters of the heart.

From Oprah’s Lifeclass:  How Guilt Can Hold Us Hostage -Over the years, Oprah has talked to many men and women struggling with the same burden—guilt. Watch as she and relationship expert Iyanla Vanzant look back on lessons learned from divorced parents, working mothers, Dr. Phil and a famous actress who blamed herself for her mother’s death. [read more…]

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